"OH MY GOD! it was such a bitch at your house this morning early."
"You came to my house?"
"Yeah at shit fuck O Clock in the morning."
"I wasn't there."
"I know bitch, I needed a light and thought I might find a lighter on your freezing ass porch."
"There was no lighter there."
"I knowwwww bitch!"
"What did you do?"
"I found a book of matches-"
"Did you get a light?"
"NOOOO the tips of the matches were wet."
"What?"
"The tips ...the very tops of all the matches were wet so each step I took down your freezin ass steps a match would go out... and I just kept saying "What the fuck is up with these fuckin' matches?"
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