A couple just walked by having an intense argument.

A couple just walked by having an intense argument. This isn't out of the ordinary. The crazy part is that they are both extremely articulate so it sounds hilarious. They are griping about "what she said to his Mom" but they sound like they could be debating a thesis on laminar flow aquadynamics. Luckily they stopped in front of our house to volley points and say "what the other person should have said (to the Mom)." Their diction is so perfect that I can hear everything even though I'm a floor up with the windows closed. I had no idea that "K's and "P" punch through glass so wonderfully if deployed correctly. Lesson: Mumble it up if you don't want nosy clowns laughing at you and your Mom.

I can still eavesdrop when people are masked up.

  I was hidden in a screened porch puffing when a date night couple walked by. Her: Smell that? That's the smell of cocaine"

Him: "You mean weed."

Her: "You know I hate being corrected!"

She stormed off with him trailing and apologizing.

Heads up, if I am ever dim enough to confuse those two things, please let me know.

I very much like ganja but as far as powders go I'm not even a fan of aspirin.

Only the best for her man.

Helping someone move.
We stopped for gas, i ran in to pay. The woman
in front of me in line a was apparently gift shopping.
"It's my boyfriend's birthday. I wanna get him something nice.
...How much are those lighters?"
clerk
"99 cents but if you really want to impress him I have these here for a buck nineynine."
"OOOh!" she cried with her top knot bouncing up and down.
"Show me the expensive ones"
Luckily I had all day to wait for them to examine all the eagles, flags, pyramids, unicorns and beer themed lighters. Not!
Ok truth be told, after she split I also got a lighter (but a cheap one)
Couldn't resist the suggestion.

Just now in the grocery store...

Young lady speaking to companion:
"You may think I'm a sociopath for picking this kind of cheese but I can afford it this week."
Wow. Seems like pop psychology phrases have fully taken over our language.
I wonder what kind of cheese points to social anxiety disorder?

Olive: Did you fold all the laundry while I was out?"

Me: Better, I wired a mic by the street so we can hear people downstairs." Olive: Couldn't we do the same thing by simply opening the window?" Me: (starts folding laundry...while dreaming up the next intelligence gathering / target acquiring scheme.) #ClownOps

Quick heads up for Mark of Troutdale.

Quick heads up for Mark of Troutdale.
 Ricky is saying you only give 50% at work.
He just told Ann, that Sandy is wondering about your management position. 
Ricky warned her that you just sit blankly at your desk half the day. 
He even asked her to hire Ann for YOUR JOB yo! 
You gotta get it together. 
I don't know any of you donkeys (I'm just an evesdropping clown). 
Big mouth Ricky was two seats back on the bus today talking on the phone to Ann. Get yer hustle together Mark!

From the Portland police radio, New Years eve edition:

In the first hour of 2018 I was stoked to turn on the police scanner and have an entertaining few hours evesdropping on Portland.
It's one of my favorite pastimes listening to the emergency radio scanners. New Years eve is a great time to tune in. 
At first the calls were very much a downer.
Lots of violence, people with guns shooting at each other, mugging, suicide, domestic disturbances, a toddler wandering around alone and lots of people on hard drugs crashing into things.
Then it happened. A detail in the account of a bar brawl "One of them has a crossbow." interesting. It kept coming "a group of people downtown just destroyed a bar and are headed north vandalizing things and accosting people." "Description? is it a gang?" (momentary silence)"No it's gonna be bridesmaids, they are all dressed identically. They are on the war path leaving a trail of disturbances."
In another part of town a man screamed at the door of a house for a couple hours before breaking the door down. That's when the neighbors called on him. 
Maybe it was his house. Our neighborhood was quiet and I hear the ER was pretty quiet as well. Then they got the second call in two hours involving a medieval weapon. 
A man was going berserk in his apartment shooting steel tipped arrows at the glass and eventually through and out his window. The neighbors were understandably freaking out. They had to surround the place, call him out with the PA with non lethal weapons at the ready. 
New Years eve 2018 had a cross bow, a long bow, lots of clubs and even zombies.Every gun violence call reminds me of the NRA (and the politicians and policies they buy) and every situation when someone is out of their mind on meds I think of big pharma and the (politicians they buy.) Because of political corruption it wasn't as fun listening in this time. I can't say I didn't learn anything but it's also a story I know well. Still It's always good to eavesdrop on your town.